You wake up tired, overwhelmed by a never-ending to-do list, and still feeling unaccomplished. The clock ticks away, but you’re stuck in a loop of motion, not progress. You’ve been there—where “busy” is a badge of honor, and exhaustion is proof that you’re winning.
But in reality, you’re not moving forward. You’re trapped in habits that served you in your twenties but are now holding you back from true happiness. You don’t need more tasks; you need a shift. What would happen if you let go of these old patterns? Keep reading to find out.
1. Prioritizing Busy Over Productive – The Exhaustion Badge
In your twenties, exhaustion was a badge of honor. If you weren’t running between multiple projects, you felt unproductive.
Being busy was proof you were succeeding, even if it didn’t move the needle. But here’s the truth: you weren’t effective. Being busy doesn’t mean you’re winning. Often, it means you haven’t figured out what truly matters. Learn to block out time for deep, meaningful work to see real progress.
The Motion vs. Progress Trap
We often confuse motion with progress. Moving constantly feels productive, but it’s often just noise. Research shows workers waste significant time on non-productive tasks.
To succeed, focus on tasks that truly matter. By eliminating distractions, saying no to unnecessary meetings, and protecting your energy, you can shift from surviving to thriving. Prioritize what counts, and you’ll find more fulfillment in your work and life.
2. Treating Your Body Like It’s Indestructible – The Cold Pizza Years
Your twenties allowed you to live on cold pizza, energy drinks, and minimal sleep without noticing the toll. But that invincibility doesn’t last forever.
The body pays the price for neglecting its needs—sleep, nutrition, and exercise. At 44, that same lifestyle might leave you in bed for a week. Start treating your body with respect now. It’s not about getting older, it’s about being smarter with your health choices.
When the Bill Arrives
The “invincible” body of your twenties eventually succumbs to wear and tear. Sleep deprivation, poor diet, and stress build up over time, showing up in your health as you age. It’s not just about getting older; it’s about recognizing that your body needs care.
Treat it well now, through proper nutrition, exercise, and sleep, to ensure that you feel good as you grow older and prevent future health issues.
3. Keeping Friendships Out of Obligation – The History Tax
In your twenties, you kept friendships because of shared experiences—college, parties, jobs. As you age, these friendships may no longer align with your values.
Keeping them out of guilt only drains you. You don’t have to maintain relationships that don’t bring joy or fulfillment. The key is recognizing that outgrowing friendships is natural. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. You simply deserve relationships that truly resonate with you.
Circumstance Isn’t Enough Anymore
When you’re younger, friendships are often formed through circumstance—shared spaces or experiences. But as you age, those connections might no longer serve you. True friendships are built on mutual respect, common interests, and shared values.
If your relationships feel more like maintenance than connection, it’s time to let go. Your social energy should go toward people who energize you and align with your present self, not those who keep you stuck.
4. Saying Yes When You Mean No – The People-Pleasing Lie
In your twenties, saying yes to everything made you feel helpful, reliable, and liked. But over time, this people-pleasing behavior leaves you resentful. You start to say yes even when you don’t want to, damaging your boundaries.
The reality is, people-pleasing isn’t kindness; it’s dishonesty. It’s about protecting your time and energy. Saying no isn’t rude—it’s necessary for your mental and emotional well-being. It’s time to start setting healthier boundaries.
Disappointing People Is Inevitable
At some point, you’ll disappoint people. It’s unavoidable and part of being human. Philosopher Rudá Iandê says that accepting this reality makes life easier to navigate.
Once you stop fearing disappointment, setting boundaries becomes liberating. Learn to say no without guilt. The people who truly care about you will understand and respect your boundaries. People-pleasing is a lie—it’s time to embrace the freedom of honesty in your relationships.
5. Chasing External Validation – The Moving Target
In your twenties, you may have chased validation through likes, compliments, or praise. You based your self-worth on the approval of others. But external validation is always a moving target. There will always be someone who doesn’t appreciate your work or vision.
Constantly seeking approval leaves you feeling inadequate. Shift your focus. Instead of seeking others’ approval, learn to value your own work, align with your own values, and create something that reflects your true self.
The Question That Actually Matters
When you stop seeking external validation, you free yourself from the exhausting cycle of approval-seeking. It’s not about ignoring feedback but finding pride in your work without relying on external applause.
The real question is whether you’re proud of what you’re creating. Does it align with who you are? If it does, that’s enough. You can still share your work with others, but you no longer need their approval to feel legitimate.
6. Waiting for Permission to Start – The Qualification Trap
In your twenties, you may have waited for permission—waiting for someone to tell you that you were ready to pursue your dreams or start a new project. But the truth is, no one’s coming to give you permission. You already have everything you need to begin.
The sooner you stop waiting for someone’s approval, the sooner you’ll take action. Starting is the most important step. Everything else will fall into place as you keep moving forward.
Just Begin, Adjust, Keep Going
Consider how a couple living together doesn’t wait for mutual approval before making small decisions. They just do things, try them out, and adjust as needed. That’s how life works. You don’t need to wait until you’re perfect or have someone’s permission. The only thing holding you back is yourself. Start now, make adjustments as you go, and keep moving forward. The gatekeepers you’re waiting for don’t exist.
7. Staying in Situations That Don’t Serve You – The Dues You Don’t Owe
You may have stayed in bad jobs, toxic relationships, or unfulfilling situations in your twenties because you thought you were “paying your dues.” You believed that sticking it out was a sign of resilience. But this mindset only keeps you stuck.
You don’t owe anyone your unhappiness. Whether it’s a dead-end job or a draining relationship, staying in situations that don’t serve you isn’t noble. It’s just a waste of your time, energy, and potential.
Temporary Discomfort vs. Prolonged Misery
Recognizing the difference between temporary discomfort and prolonged misery is key. Discomfort is part of growth and change, but staying stuck in miserable situations isn’t. The older you get, the more you realize that your time and energy are finite. Don’t waste them on things that drain you. Walking away from situations that no longer serve you isn’t failure—it’s choosing to invest in your happiness and growth.
8. Comparing Your Progress to Everyone Else’s – The Highlight Reel Trap
Social media makes it easy to compare yourself to others, especially when you see everyone’s “highlight reel.” In your twenties, this constant comparison made you feel like you were falling behind.
You compared your progress to others’ milestones, but this isn’t a fair measure of success. Everyone’s journey is different, and comparing yours to theirs only leads to frustration and self-doubt.
The Only Comparison That Matters
The only comparison that matters is the one between who you were last year and who you are now. Are you growing? Are you learning? That’s the real question. Success doesn’t look the same for everyone, and social media often distorts reality. Focus on your own growth and celebrate the progress you’ve made, regardless of where others are. Comparing yourself to others is irrelevant; your journey is yours alone.
9. Believing Happiness Is a Destination – The Finish Line That Doesn’t Exist
Your twenties might have sold you the idea that happiness was a destination—that once you achieved certain milestones, you’d finally feel content. You chased job promotions, relationships, and material things, believing happiness would follow.
But when you reached these goals, happiness didn’t last. It’s because happiness isn’t a finish line—it’s a practice, a series of small choices you make every day.
Happiness Is a Practice, Not a Prize
Happiness is not something you achieve and then coast on. It’s built into your daily life through intentional choices. It’s found in the small moments: cooking a meal, spending time with loved ones, enjoying a hobby.
Stop treating happiness like a prize you’ll eventually win. Start creating it with the things you already have, in the present moment. Happiness comes from living in alignment with your true self.
Final Thoughts: Growth Means Letting Go
Your twenties were full of mistakes, growth, and self-discovery. But as you age, it’s important to reassess what’s still serving you and what needs to be let go.
The habits that helped you survive your twenties aren’t necessarily the ones that will help you thrive now. Growth means shedding those old patterns and embracing what aligns with who you are now. Celebrate your progress, and step into the next chapter with excitement.